Your relationship is in duress and you’re not sure your union is going to survive all the arguing, frustrations, and sadness. In a last-ditch effort, you agree that finding a couples therapist might be your only recourse to save the relationship. Here are some things a good couples therapist might address.
Arguments are important and healthy. Setting up rules and parameters about the way you fight is key. Keep it respectful and effective using a specific barometer of what will work for both of you before your next argument. Set this up when you are both calm, willing and able to communicate,
Boundaries? Yes please. Have some. For example: Keep the bathroom door closed when you’re in it. It’s not appetizing or sexy to see your main squeeze squatting on that bowl huffing and puffing. Create some guidelines for communication and privacy. Try not to take each other for granted and create some personal space to keep the sexy in your relationship.
No two couples are alike. For example, some couples opt for no screaming and cursing while others find that expressing specific frustrations is a great way to unleash pent up resentments in a non offensive manner. Allow your partner to finish a thought. Use “I” statements. It keeps you on track, avoids placing blame on others, plus it keeps you responsible for your own behaviors. Map out some of these issues before your next argument so that you review them together, when you’re not upset, or arguing and able to formulate behaviors that will work for you both.
Allow your partner his or her process. We all see things differently and have our own unique perspective on things. It’s important to respect that. Often times the way we communicate, and process information is more problematic than the actual argument or disagreement itself. So pay close attention to process and differences in communications style. Bottom line, relationships take work and require energy to continue evolving. Do your best to be as honest and kind to yourself and your amour as possible. Whatever you do, keep your sense of humor and keep laughing and remind yourself why you hooked up in the first place.