Am I ready for a Relationship? A users guide.

Do You Look Your Best?

Look at yourself naked in front of a mirror. Don’t use this as an opportunity to criticize and make yourself nuts. Be realistic. Try to be honest with what you see and if there is something that you would like to improve upon, now is a good time to consider doing so.

Pay Attention to what you Look like when you Leave the House.

Let’s face it, sexless flats, hairy legs, hair scrungies and a stained flash dance sweatshirt isn’t gonna cut it. Your appearance is the fuel line to chemistry. No attraction, no chemistry, no chemistry, no dates, no dates no relationship capiche?  I’m not telling you to be someone you are not. Just put thought into dressing that highlights your confidence and godly given attributes

Let’s Talk Baggage. 

Not the Samsonite kind. The kind you carry with you in your underbelly. The real you, the human that makes us all uniquely whacky, neurotic, and complex. It also makes us difficult, annoying, and sometimes a real drag. This is our baggage, “our stuff”. What we carry. Some might call it our armor; I’m comfortable with the term ‘personality type’. Having a clearer understanding of what your issues are is always helpful. A little bit of time in the therapist’s office doesn’t hurt either. A deeper understanding about who you are and how you tick. Understanding your faults and strengths will only make you more accessible and “Baggage Friendly”

For example, if you’re the co-dependant type and find that you’ve dated narcissistic alcoholics time and time again perhaps it’s best to take a boyfriend break for a while and figure out why?

Are you Ready to Compromise?

The grass is always greener. People who are involved always yearn for the good old single days when decisions were based on their needs alone and not the desires and wishes of their girlfriend. Can you handle going to your boyfriend’s gross family for Thanksgiving? How do you feel about sports night? Are you able to set aside differences in work, sleep patterns, politics and social preferences for the sake of harmony? Perhaps you are ready.

What About Sex?

Are you willing and able to hunker down into that strange land of sometimes-mediocre sex in exchange for that passionate drunken one night stand? Sex evolves and changes when you allow yourself the opportunity to bed the same person over a period of time. Issues can come up, vulnerabilities surface. Are you ready for your boyfriend to hear you fart or smell your morning breath? Can you have sex with the lights on? When you’re having casual sex, all bets are off. Needs, desires, preferences and vulnerabilities aren’t necessarily acknowledged verbally and worked through. It’s only about getting your grove on. Monogamous sex despite its physical and spiritual perks can be tiresome, routine and dull at points. But boy can it blow your mind when you have incredible sex with some one you care for

Know Who you are and What your really Want.

Not everyone is suited for a relationship. If you’ve been searching for a long while and can’t seem to snag a partner, perhaps it’s time to ask you why? Maybe it’s not what you want in the first place. Who knows maybe your gay? Or straight? Ok, maybe it’s just time to adopt or foster a pet.